Checking in...

Haven't updated this blog in FOREVER... no better time than now.

Vinny and I got married on 8/8/08... everything went PERFECTLY! We did have some rain on our day, but as they say - it's good luck. Wedded life is wonderful. We could not be happier. We've taken the advice of some close friends of ours and decided to take the top layer of our wedding cake and cut it into 12 pieces. This way, we can enjoy a slice every 8th all year long. Celebrating our "monthiversaries" have been so much fun! We have our 3rd monthiversary coming up already in another week... crazy, how time flies!

I'm writing today, from not the most ideal place... a hospital room. I was admitted to the hospital last Sunday (Oct. 26) and then discharged on Wednesday (Oct. 29). I'm having stomach/ esophogus issues related to my hiatal hernia. What does this have to do with my weight loss journey? Well, I lost 5lbs. as I was only on liquids during this time. I had a follow up test (UGI/ swallow study) Monday morning that didn't go so well. The swelling in my stomach still exists, so the doc wants to go in and surgically repair. ugh!

Anyway, he said there is no reason I wouldn't be discharged tomorrow if all goes well with the surgery today. Wish me luck! Will update soon.

Wedding Dress...

So excited to share that at my FINAL dress fitting for my WEDDING GOWN, I have gone from a bridal 22 (which is probably more like a "real" 24) to a bridal 16 (which is more like a "real" 14)!!!

Check our my progression from my FIRST fitting to my LAST fitting:

October, 2007 --------------------------- to --------------------------- August, 2008!

This dress is SO "the one" I cannot wait to see Vinny's face when he sees me in it for the first time.

:) 8/8/08 is the day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

new size!!

I am so excited to report that upon my shopping yesterday for a dress for my shower this weekend and a couple weddings we have coming up, I realized that I am no longer an 18! In fact, I purchased 3 dresses that were size 16... Check 'em out:

And this one is a size 14!! I cannot tell you the last time I was in that size!!! 9th grade????

-90 lbs. FOREVER!!!

This morning, I hit -90 lbs.!!!!

that puts me at -90.7 over all with about 54 to lose total and 19 to my wedding goal... i was SO stoked when i stepped on the scale this morning. it's days like this when i wish vinny didn't leave for work so early and someone could high-five me or give me a big hug! i'm dancing around our apt. like an idiot! hehe --- can i tell you how excited i am to be on the last decade to saying i've lost 100 lbs.??? a century of weight?! basically a teeny bit more than my sister TIFFANY!? ha!



best part? this afternoon, i have my 2nd dress fitting! so i'm going to be asking everyone to once again THINK THIN for me --- but in addition, i'm actually going to be FEELING thin!



WOOOOOOOO! Thanks to everyone for their support!!

Here is a picture of me 90 lbs. lighter than I was almost 2 years ago:

Memorial Day Challenge Goal...

I wanted to be down 90lbs. by Memorial Day. I think I'm on the right track. I have 4.9 lbs. to go and 2 weeks to do it. I am confident that if I keep it up at the gym, plus all the extra exercise I've been doing at home - that I can do it. If I get be down -90lbs. by Memorial Day, I think that puts me on a good track to be down -100 before I'm married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) And more than anything else I want to hit my wedding goal by wedding day! Currently that is 25.5lbs. in a little less than 3 months...

Wish me luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Curves Report for April...

I received 2 Curves Reports tonight... The first is my month in review for April... the 2nd is my overall report from January 2007 - when I re-joined Curves! Check out my lbs. and inches disapearing... VERY motivating for me to get those attendance numbers UP (btw, that's the ONLY area of this report where you hope to see the arrow pointing UP!!) ;)

April report:

Overall Report:

My Hero... My Vinny!

BEFORES (2004-05):

AFTERS (2006-present):

Vinny lost 113 lbs. in less than a year (more like 9 - 10 months) on weight watchers... he is my hero. i could not post all the things i have and not give a shout out to the man who is my daily inspiration!!!!

Love you, baby! :)

Ode to the gym...

Oh, gym...
My friend, my foe.
I love thee, I hate thee...
I ask, "why don't I just go?"

Excuses, excuses.
They keep me from you.
But when we connect,
My true feelings shine through.

To go, or not to go...
That is the question I ask.
Then more of those excuses...
Why don't the endorphins last?!

OK -- I was at the gym tonight and was busting my butt. Sweating, working hard, feeling good, totally feeling the calories flying off my body - wondering all the while why I try to talk myself out to going so often. One of the trainers even came by and told me what I good job I was doing and how she could tell I was giving it all I had. It felt awesome -- definetely those endorphins they want about!!!! :)

I wish I had the willpower to make myself go everyday. I wish I had the motivation to get my ass out of bed earlier and work out before school. I wish I had the energy, time, etc.. etc.. to stretch or do yogo before bed.

BUT DO I??????????

Most of the time, no.

Why?

I DO NOT KNOW!

It is frustrating to me that I cannot find it within myself after all I've accomplished so far to "JUST DO IT" (go Nike) but I find it so difficult. I wish I was one of those people who could say "I LOVE TO EXERCISE!" or "I LOVE TO GO TO THE GYM!" -- but I am SO not that person. If there was a magic pill I could take and sit back and prop my feet up and grade some papers while I got a workout --- I would totally take it! haha --- although I like feeling good about myself and proud of myself for working out, I do not like it. I do not LOOK FORWARD to running in place, on a treadmill, on the eliptical, lifting weights, stretching, sit-ups, machines, etc.. etc.. -- NOPE! Not a single one of those.

So, in conclusion --- if anyone has any bottled up ambition or motivation - send it my way! :) In the meantime, I will continue to be proud of myself for the positive changes I do make and hopefully the results will continue to speak for themselves and I will continue to want to see them! That wedding dress in the back of my mind is CERTAINLY motivation enough, one would think!!! :)

Meeting real life Inspirations...

Many of my friends know I belong to a support group of people who have a LOT of weight to lose, like myself. I've belonged to this website since October of 2006. With respect for the privacy of these people, as well as myself (just because I've posted WAAAAAAAAAAAAY too many personal things on that website --- not to mention my weekly weigh ins right there for the world to see) I am not mentioning what the name of this website is... HOWEVER, I do want to share that within the last few months, I've had the opportunity to meet some of the online friends I've made. These people are some of the most supportive, encouraging, motivating, INSPIRING people one could know... So here are my photos with these WONDERFUL shrinking people!!!!

What a bunch of "losers" they are!!! hehehe

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me and Terri (met 3 times!):

.....San Antonio, Texas................... Crystal City, VA................... Alexandria, VA.........
......October, 2007 .........................February, 2008......................... April, 2008..............

** Terri has lost over 60 lbs. and within the last 2 years, has become one of my very best friends!!!!!!!! She has been there for me since day 1 and I couldn't imagine walking this journey without her. She and I are forever friends, that's for sure!!!! ((she's the only person invited to my wedding that was on the guest list before I physically MET in person! hahaha -- but we talked online and on the phone so frequently that it was weird to say we hadn't "met" before October of last year!! haha)) I LOVE THIS GIRL!!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me and Paul:

Alexandria, VA ~ April, 2008

** Paul is one of my heros --- he has lost 198 lbs. --- YES, almost 200lbs! OMG! Is he now YOUR hero???? When I met him - and put my arms around him - I couldn't get over how LITTLE he was!!!! This man used to be a BIG GUY! He was always handsome, but look at him now!!!!! He is freaking adorable!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Paul, me, Terri, and Jess P.:

Alexandria, VA ~ April, 2008
** Jess P. (all the way to the right) is another one of my personal heros --- she has lost 134 lbs. --- and in a little LESS than a year!!!!!!! She wears a body bug and works out 6 days a week. She's a true gym rat now! :) I admire her, am envious of her, and really really really respect her!

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Me and Ralph:

Baltimore, MD ~ April, 2008 (yesterday!)

** Ralph is yet another one of my personal heros --- he has lost 151 lbs. He has been the one to pick me up when I felt like crap and was at a total stand still with my weight loss efforts. He is truly one of the most genuinely kind and caring people I've ever met! I love my Ralph!!!

THE BIGGEST LOSER IS A WOMAN!!!!!!!

"The Biggest Loser" finale was last night!!!!!!!!!!!!


It was so exciting that a woman finally won!!! And Ali really really really deserved to win, too! She kicked ass at the gym and really tore it up against those big bad boys. The really cool thing about Ali is that she was actually voted off in the 4th episode of the show this season - but then was given a chance to come back bc she lost the most of any other woman who had previously been voted off. She lost 112 lbs!!!! (99 pounds on campus and then lost 13 more at home). Ali is SUCH an inspiration and her determination and ambition are certainly admirable! :) I would love to bottle that up and sell it! haha ((if not DRINK it up myself!!!))

Here's Ali befores/afters:

and just a quick shout out to another AWESOME competitor this year who I really really respected bc she kicked the boys' asses in challenges SO many times!!!!!! :) GO BRITTANY!! (and she looked SO awesome at the finale!)

80 lbs. down!!

omg! omg! omg! omg! omg!

I HIT -80 lbs. this morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited!!

What a cool thing to hit 80 lbs. down on the day of our FIRST official wedding event - in preparation for our wedding on 8.8.08!!!!!!!!! (Gotta love those 8's!!!) hehe ;)

-30 to wedding goal (about 3.5 months left!)... I'm starting to think IT IS WITHIN IN MY REACH! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Team Bride is ready for KICKBALL against Team Groom:

April Update with Pics!

I had Vinny take some pictures tonight... I had just shared with Courtney the suggestion to take pics every month in the same clothes, etc.. etc.. But then looking back at mine --- I guess I didn't do so well with my own advice. My pics are kind of spiratic!!! Oh well... It still shows progress!!!


As of today, I am down 73 lbs. ((ON MY WAY TO 80, BABY!!!))


Sooooooooooo, here they are:

Front Dec. 2006 --> Apr. 2008

Side Dec. 2006 --> Apr. 2008

Back Dec. 2006 --> Apr. 2008

I'm a motivation to others????? ME?!

This morning I got a message via myspace from a friend of my sisters who I had gotten to know through the planning of my sisters shower. She actually told ME that I was motivating to HER. How crazy is that?! Who would have thought that me --- someone who has struggled with weight essentially her whole life --- would ever motivate someone else to want to lose weight. THAT helps me see just how far I've come........ Thank you, Courtney! I hope you don't mind that I include our messages back and forth!!!

This is the message I read from Courtney this morning:

----------------- Original Message -----------------
Date: Mar 30, 2008 10:57 PM
Jessica, I'm not sure if you remember me, I'm BJ's that e-mailed you millions of questions about her wedding before we got there! I was just browsing the myspace pages on my list of friends and came across yours and snuck a peak at your blogs. YOU LOOK AMAZING. I too need to fight the battle of losing weight and please let me tell you that you are an inspiration. Coming from a complete stranger, I respect you so much because I know how hard of a battle it is and you look awesome. Good job, you should be very proud of yourself. I just joined weight watchers last week, but I feel like I don't even know where to begin because I have so much weight to lose. Any tips? Congrats- you inspire me!-Courtney

Here is my reply back to her ----- which, in reflecting on it, REALLY DOES show me how far I've come and what I've learned... GO ME!!!! hehe :)


----------------- Original Message -----------------
Date: Mar 31, 2008 6:43 AM
of course I remember you and THANK YOU!!!!!! you just made my day! :) weight watchers is great for several reasons --- they do not restrict anything (so if you want to waste the points on a snickers bar - go ahead and do it - haha!) i've always done better on plans where i wasn't restricting myself from anything i wanted.

do you mind my asking how much weight you have to lose? bc BELIEVE ME --- i understand the overwhelming-ness of looking at the BIG picture... when I first started this journey back in 2006 -- i had a total of 140 lbs. to lose to reach my ultimate goal.................. NOW, CAN YOU BELIEVE I AM HALF WAY THERE??????? i am down 72lbs.! it still sucks to think that i have almost 70 more to go ---- but hell, i'm better off than i was a couple years ago at this time, right?

as far as suggestions for you --- i started seeing a nutritionist. check and see if your insurance covers it, if so - do it! she's been my life saver! she taught me how to "act, think, and eat like a naturally thin person". which is something (obviously) i never knew, since i've been overweight my whole life. some important things to try, along with counting your points through weight watchers (if you bite it, write it!) is:

- when you're eating ---- follow this order:- eat protein, protein, protein first!!!!- next eat veggies- THEN if ONLY IF you're still hungry, eat your starches (potato, rice, bread, etc.)

- allow yourself to have a "real" dessert only once a week... (every friday vinny and i go to chick-fil-a and i have a "cookies-n-creme shake" OMG! so yummy!!!!! it is my reward for having a good week............ and speaking of, if i haven't had a good week and cheated on something -- like jelly beans the week before easter... GRRRRR! then my punishment is no shake that week) the remaining nights, stick to fat-free sugar-free jello or pudding with fat free coolwhip as your something sweet! :) it's sweet and yummy AND looooooooooooooooow in calories!!!! if ever you watch "the biggest loser" trainer bob even tells his contestants to have a "cheat night" every weigh-in day --- where they can eat WHATEVER they want... he says it tricks the metabolism into thinking it is dieting (aka: starving) and therefore will not store fat.

- this one is super important: put your fork and knife down between EVERY bite and force yourself to chew it SLOWLY (in the beginning, you may even need to train yourself by counting 30 chews) the slower you eat, the LESS you eat, and the FASTER you feel full. don't worry - i know you doubt me now - i was you a few years ago - but it really does work!!!!!!!!!!! you just have to take the time to train yourself

- try not to do ANTYHING else while you're eating except think about what you're eating. ie: do not eat in front of the TV, computer, etc. or read or write anything as you're eating.

- GET YOUR BUTT MOVING!!!!!!! exercise and me have been mortal enemies for a LONG LONG LOOOOOOONG time ---- make friends with it! :) it makes a world of difference in your mood, energy level, and of course, weightloss!!!! i joined curves. it's not intimidating or overwhelming - just a bunch of women hanging out, working out, being social - and it's less than the cost of a gym membership (i pay $29/mo. bc i signed up with a special --- i think the normal rate is $39/mo. which is still great!)

- make yourself publicly accountable!!!!!!!!! i started a blog and of course have posted here on myspace as well. knowing i have people supporting and encouraging me along the way makes me make better decisions. knowing i'm posting public pictures of myself on the web, keeps me in line! if you ever want to check out my blog --- go for it: http://jameza40-weightlossjourney.blogspot.com/ maybe you want to think about starting one yourself? it really does keep you in check! ((i may include your message in one, actually - bc you totally made my day!!!!)) to know i've inspired ANYONE to do ANYTHING kind of cracks me up! hahaha - i still have not gotten used to that part of this... i HAVE been successful! i need to learn to accept complements... that's my nutritionists new things with me - instead of replying with "thanks, but i have 70lbs. more to go" i just need to stop at "thanks" and relish in the complement!

- as much as you might HATE to now... take a pic of yourself (front, side, and the dreaded back end) and in the SAME clothes - try to do that once a month. it is truly ASTOUNDING the progress you'll see and little changes REALLY keep me motivated! like lately, i've noticed muscles in my legs i haven't seen since like 10th grade! hahaha :)

anyway, that's all i can think of right now - if i think of anything else, i'll be sure to let you know! BEST OF LUCK TO YOU! :) and if ever you have any questions or anything - don't hesitate to ask!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! good luck and please keep me updated as to your progress.......

hugs, jess

ps: i know you said you've joined weight watchers, so you already know how important it is to journal your food and exercise. a great website to use along with the little booklet they give you is: www.sparkpeople.com - they give you lists and lists of food choices with exactly calories, fat, fiber, etc. and they produce charts and lots of motivational articles, etc. i LOVE that website!!!!!!! seeing what you're actually eating really is eye opening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

March & 70 lbs.

So excited to report that I’m down over 70lbs.! :)

I have recent pics posted from our trip to Vegas last weekend, and I can definetely see a difference in my face and belly............ oh, god! that belly! UGH! hahaha -- I will do some comparison photos below with "befores" and most recent "durings" :)

I am feeling good and starting to become a lot more like the "old" confident me, I remember not so long ago! Thanks to all who have leant their support and encouragement... anyone who has been down this road knows it is NOT an easy journey.

And for the record, I am only half way done! So, don’t turn your back on me yet! I will still need all of you to help me with the home stretch! My goal is -40 by our wedding and -70 to get to my "ideal weight" (which honestly, I do not know if it is possible ---- we may adjust that as we get closer!) ;)

Here are some pics to map my progress thus far:

"before" April 2006

"Before" July 2006

"before" - October, 2006

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW, some current "durings" from March, 2008 --- check me out!!!

2008 & 60 lbs. gone!

So excited to share that as of 6:30 this morning, I am down 60.5 lbs!!!!!!!

WAAAA HOOOO!

I will post comparison photos as soon as I remember to ask Vin to take them - hopefully this weekend! (it's been TOO COLD for those shorts and a tank... but I want to keep using the same clothes until they no longer fit - to make the comparisons ring true).

YEH ME! I still have a LONG way to go (70 to get to my ultimate goal and 40 for my wedding goal). Those are VERY ambitious numbers... so we'll see how it goes! :)

Thanks to everyone for your ongoing support!

Hugs, Jess

UPDATE --- here are my pics: